I have a confession. I am totally and completely dependently drawn (in a good way) to the story of Apollo 13…more specifically, it’s the 1995 movie directed by Ron Howard (with Tom Hanks as Jim Lovell, Bill Paxton as Fred Haise, Kevin
Bacon as Jack Swigert, Gary Sinise as Ken Mattingly and Ed Harris as Gene Kranz). I KNOW this sounds corny!!! But I’m gonna say it anyway…my BODY loves everything about this darn movie (except the smoking)!
From the opening theme music…to Walter Cronkite’s voice during different scenes…to the recorded voice of Neil Armstrong saying, “One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind” as the group of stunned astronauts and their families gather together in front of the TV to witness Armstrong take his first steps on the moon. I love the story of Apollo 13…and I especially love this movie!
I’ve been obsessed with the story of Apollo 13 since I first saw this movie. I’ve watched it over and over throughout the years. In fact, there are times when I am about to face really, really difficult things (at least in my perception) where I find myself turning to face my nearest loved one and saying, “It’s gonna be an Apollo-13-kind-of-day tomorrow. I’m gonna need to watch it
today…so if you need me, I’ll be busy.” And they simple look back at me and say, “Do what you gotta do,” in total acceptance of my dependence. Somehow, they get that look in my eye that depicts my need to connect with this movie. They accept me and my mysterious reverence for this movie…for this true story. I accept it too.
Over the years, there have been so many scenes and movie lines from this movie that have seemed to guide me during my particular quest … they’ve been like teachers that have jumped off the screen and filled my soul and spirit with the exact potion needed to keep going. This is not unlike how a person may feel towards a piece of art or towards certain poetry or songs. These special pieces speak to them on a very personal level. And the person accepts that they are not following a logical pull towards this art form.
They understand that the pull is coming from a viscerally wise place inside their body. That’s how this feels for me.
In looking up the word visceral, I came upon the following two definitions: 1) Visceral – characterized by or proceeding from instinct rather than intellect: a visceral reaction. 2) Visceral – characterized by or dealing with coarse or base emotions; earthy; crude
Yes, that about sums up my pull towards the movie “Apollo 13.” It’s a body-initiated pull…it’s not coming from my mind.
I WON’T PICK JUST ONE
I have so many favorite quotes and scenes from the movie. It would be cruel and unusual punishment for me to have to pick out just one. In fact, I won’t do that to myself. I won’t make myself pick just one. I’ll list several in hopes that you can attempt to comprehend my pull and, perhaps, acknowledge a unique-to-you pull in your own life.
Some of my favorite scenes and quotes from Apollo 13 (in no particular order) are as follows:
NASA Director: “This could be the worst disaster NASA’s ever faced.”
Gene Kranz: “With all due respect, sir, I believe this is gonna be our finest hour.”
Me: “Our finest hour,” I’ve repeated it over and over and over to myself. “Not my worst disaster…my finest hour. Just like it was for them.”
Gene Kranz: “Let’s look at this thing from a… um, from a standpoint of status. What do we got on the spacecraft that’s good?”
Sy Liebergot: “I’ll get back to you, Gene.”
Me: “What do I have in ME that’s good?! What do I have in me that works?” I’ve asked myself.
Me: I hear this and the memories flood forward of all the times I’ve realized I was on the wrong track, a cold track instead of a hot track, if you will, and how admitting that fact to myself was always the very first step towards incredibly good growth.
Jim Lovell: “We just put Sir Isaac Newton in the driver’s seat.”
Me: I love this line. I choose to live this way. Little by little, my journey has been about learning how to follow my heart with faith that the laws of the universe exist and work. After all, the laws of the universe (the moon’s gravity) were pivotal in helping to get those astronauts back from space alive.
Gene Kranz: “Let’s work the problem people. Let’s not make things worse by guessing.”
Me: “Yes!” I always say to myself when I hear this. My body loves this line. She knows it’s what keeps her free. Telling myself untrue stressful/painful stories (guessing) simply hurts. Reality is always more kind.
Gene Kranz: “I don’t care about what anything was DESIGNED to do, I care about what it CAN do.”
Me: This line reminds me that in pursuit of my dreams and my hearts desires, I will most likely get to step out of the limitations of what I think I was DESIGNED to do and into the exciting world of what I CAN do. In other words, according to my life’s “script,” I’m not designed to be able to take much criticism…and yet I’ve actually learned that I can…I actually can. It is possible for me to live through criticism and not completely disintegrate into thin air?! Wasn’t designed to…but I can.
Jim Lovell: [narrating] “Our mission was called “a successful failure,” in that we returned safely but never made it to the moon.”
Me: I LOVE this line…this concept…from out of the ashes, from out of the depths of despair, from great heartbreak and from great personal disaster have come the most incredible teachings and ways of serving the world. When I hear this line, I remind myself that I too am a successful failure. My unwillingness to listening to my body’s wisdom over the years (which could be called a failure) is precisely how and why I can live intuitively today (a definite success).
What does watching Apollo 13 for years and years have to do with following my intuition? EVERYTHING! And, furthermore, writing about it and sharing it with you is an act of faith in my intuition and a way of honoring my body’s wisdom. On those occasions when I feel that pull, I believe it’s my wise body’s way of communicating something I need to know from one of the scenes in that movie…because, after all, bodies don’t use traditional words to “talk.”
How about you? For you, has there been a movie, a story, a piece of art, a song that has pulled you? What are you dependently drawn to in a good way? What has a visceral pull for you? What’s spoken to you for years? What do you have a mysterious reverence for? What’s your corny, illogical, unique-to-you happy place habit?
With love and gratitude,
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